Whether the relationship is romantic, social, or professional, some partnerships stand the test of time with an ever-deepening connection. While most friendships level out at a certain depth, best friends share something that feels eternal. Each day and each stage of the alliance’s lifespan is refreshed with every exchange. Sure, there are plateaus – but the long-term trajectory themes upward. Best friends swim side-by-side through both calm and turbulent waters. So, what are the ingredients of this magic?
Boundaries
No matter the closeness, all relationships require boundaries. The worst thing you can do to a partner is assume you know them fully. Every closeness is enabled by some distance. The amount of distance is determined by the nature of the partnership, ranging from intimate to casual. Whatever the bond, there are always boundaries. Two people are not one person.
Curiosity
The wonder should never cease. Every moment should be filled with genuine interest in what your mate thinks and feels. Whatever time has elapsed since your last contact should be accompanied by a growing urge to find out what’s happened in their absence. Each reunion begins with a catch-up.
Commitment
Trust is strengthened by the understanding that the relationship is resilient. There is no disagreement that cannot be addressed through dialogue rooted in understanding. Some version of ‘through thick and thin’ or ‘for better or for worse’ remains in play when tension threatens the foundation of the connection. You’re in it for the long haul.
Sacrifice
Acknowledging that no one serves from an empty vessel, caring for yourself enables you to put your partner’s needs first when necessary. The connection is reciprocal, so you can trust that they are prioritizing your needs as well. The balance works, even when it occasionally falls out of balance.
Permission for Growth
Everything evolves, though not always at the same pace. Because change can feel like loss, it’s a trap to want your relationship to stay the same. Stability is a myth. Allowing for growth and change fuels renewal. Nothing becomes stale.
Productive Disagreement
You and your best friend are not the same person. You have different histories and diverse perspectives. Healthy debate becomes a well-played game. Conflict is a gift. The partnership becomes an invitation for epiphanies as you find yourself saying, “Huh, I never thought of it that way.”
Attraction
Some connections have a magnetic pull that stays in force even when times are tough. Often called ‘chemistry,’ it is that gravitational reality that parallel lines are meant to intersect. In the grand scheme of the universe, certain orbits are designed to align.
It is the lucky human who gets to experience these ingredients with loved ones, friends, or colleagues. If you happen to be in this club of good fortune, treat the rarity as a treasure. Take nothing for granted and keep investing. You get what you give.